Pul-eeze.
Shot gun, em, .22 em, or whatever other caliber you choose to murder them to protect your pathetic little garden. Hello? They're digging around to look for food? What are you doing? Somebody want to blast you in the back when you're scouring the produce aisles in the supermarket?
Am I the only person left in this world to truly - TRULY - believe in the phrase "Live and Let Live"? And you know the most bloodthirstiest of all? Organic gardeners. Yep. The very same, earthy, lovers of nature, friends of all things natural, blah, blah, freaking blah. I think this is one of the major reasons why I no longer post on these 'organic' gardening forums. It's the hypocrisy.
So if they don't have access to guns, arrows, poison, etc. (ooop, scuse me...they're uh......"organic" so they wouldn't use poison)....how about good old fashioned BB guns? Yeah. Hit one in the back and see how it lays there or runs off (while it can still run) to hide and die a miserable death whilst you and the kiddies roar your sick asses off. Fun family gatherings you folks must have. When do you hold the sacrifices?
Next time you tell junior to "Go BB one for Daddy or Mommy", tell the little tyke to stick around and watch when the BB'd squirrel comes crawling across the yard looking for water to drink or a single seed to find. Not actually 'crawling', but actually dragging himself because his hind legs are paralyzed due to the injury in his spine from junior's BB. Watch as he raises his head and flails his tiny paws in death throes because he cannot reach food or escape predators. Watch and hee-haw yourselves silly. Oh, don't forget to get a few yucks as he opens his little mouth gasping for air and dies with his eyes open. They die with their eyes open, you know. All animals do.
Pity those hilarious murderers don't die that way. Then maybe there'd be a chance that, just before they gasp their final breath, they could see someone like myself standing over them laughing MY ass off, too.
