September 8, 2012


Scotts Miracle-Gro ponies up for selling bird seed poisoned with toxic pesticides and selling lawn & garden products containing undocumented, imported pesticides.

This blog hasn't seen a post from me for, shall we say...a smidge of time.  But this was so-o-oo-o-o worth coming out of 'retirement' and putting aside the kinder, gentler, I-don-t-give-a-fuck-about-small-shit-or-Scotts' attitude that I've managed to cultivate over these last several years.  It was worth coming in off the trails to set at my computer.  And if you knew how much I'd rather be hiking, that's saying something.

The "chump change" reference in my title here reflects just how much of a dent in Scotts' pockets this will make.  Their image however might not come off so unscathed.  Although take heart Mr. Hagedorn (CEO of Scotts) you will still hold hostage those hordes of environmentally-myopic, sycophantic lawn Nazis who will cling to their bags of your poison lawn products and continue to spray that liquid poison crap on their petunias and tomatoes, as well as those pathetically naive organic-wannabes who ignorantly attest to the organic-ness of your (blahhahahahahahaaa) "Organic" product line.  **The use of the word organic and Scotts together in the same sentence is still an overwhelming anathema to me**

I read Scotts' admission statement, wherein they actually admit to no wrong doing or criminal negligence,  but are paying the fine anyway.  I suppose...out of the goodness of their heart?  No.  More likely Hagedorn doesn't look all that fashion-forward in prison garb.  Envisioning of ole Jimbo taking a shower in some lock-down facility and being on the receiving end of what he & his company have basically been and continue to do to our environment does create some poetic justice imagery.

Anyway, about that statement.  Yeah.  Right.  What usually happens when a sucessfully- sued or defunct company's shit hits the financial fan?  Someone's head has to roll.  Someone has to fall on the sword, take the fall, the punch, the dive, the blame.  In Scotts' case it was some unnamed woman employee who allegedly "acted alone" in falsifying documents re imported pesticides and without the knowledge of another living, toxic-breathing Scotts' soul.  (Another oxymoronic word combo).

"Acted alone"

Can anyone see some big ass company, say like a WallyMart,  involved in something that if made public, could ultimately cost their yellow smiley-faced icon to turn green and barf and relegating that line of obfuscating defense to one single individual    One single, solitary Wally serf bearing the lone responsibility for filing documents proving that their Chinese-imported toys weren't really generously slathered with chemicals that some little tyke might ingest and suddenly sprout another head?   When in fact, they were practically emitting a radioactive glow inside the packing crates stacked on the Bentonville loading dock.  I think not.  Unless you're Mr. Wally or Mr. Hagedorn, employee autonomy is non-existent in behemoth businesses like these.   No one acts alone.  Even bathroom breaks have to pass committee.

But then.....there was the 1962 magic loogie in Dallas.   Bleech!

So I go and check some gardening/lawn care/environmental forums and while this issue isn't exactly garnering page after page of comments, the comments I did scan were more like:  "Ooooh, Scotts is soooo bad.  I'll never buy their products again."  Excuse me, but, uh, if you're organic (such a misused, much-tossed around and bastardized word to begin with)...then what the hell were you doing buying the crap in the first place?  Did you, like, ever read any information or comments from other organic gardeners or environmental advocates?

Oh, piffle.  I forgot.  I gave up caring about whiney babies who don't bother to look before they leap, read the contents or ingredients of the products they buy,  or carry a map or compass before heading out on the trail and never check the weather beforehand and wonder why the heck they get the rain.

In the end, as long as businesses like Scotts or Monsanto (folks, stop getting it screwed up that these two poison-peddlers are joined at the hip) continue to pollute our environment and our health and as long as the MacMansioners and MacMansioner-wannabees absolutely must have that greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen lawn, poifect termaters and bug free (including bees & butterflies) gardens, then this actually isn't any kind of end at all.  The pesticides, insecticides and other toxic crap just keeps rolling out of Home Depot's garden centers as fast as their pimply-faced employees who couldn't tell a begonia from a bougenvilla keep loading them in the back of their Volvos.  That's why it's chump change to Scotts, early retirement (no doubt with a big departing bonus) to one poor ex-Scotts employee and a mere blip on Hagedorn's end-of-year financials.

Oh, but there is one silver lining.  Scotts has agreed to tangentaly contribute to bird habitats.  Funny, I thought they already er....contributed?  Although the dead and or dying house finches and other neighborhood birdfeeder visitors (as well as dead or dying squirrels who feasted on the toxic seed) might differ on Scotts'  meaning of the word.